Are you a single SEO? Are you in a relationship and need to spice things up? Well Dr. Montgomery (not accredited in anyway, so please don’t show me your gross bits) can help. For years, I’ve been perfecting the art of love in the SEO community and can now reveal a selection of SEO related chat-up lines (pick-up lines if you are Team America) that 100% Guarantee you will not be alone for much longer*.
SEO chat-up lines in action
*If you try any of these then you are in danger Will Robinson, not only will you be greeted with blank expressions but most likely a slap, I have done no research, just shouted round the office like a maniac, made me realise how creative some of the guys are at MEC Manchester.
So let’s break the ice and feel free to add your own in the comments, still can’t believe Dan let me post this…
I will give you multiple links…
Will you be the anchor to my text?
If you were a link I’d make you <no follow> I don’t want to share!
Can I get a listing in your directory?
Did it hurt…? When you fell from the first page.
I’ve set my robots.txt to allow you
Do you fancy a 3 way? No wait I mean a link…
If you were Google I’d let you rank me!
Please don’t break my link!
Do you know how to find the “top” spot?
Once you go black hat you never go back…
Look we both knew this was 302!
Wow your links look juicy!
“A rose canonicalised would smell just as sweet!”
Can I have your CTR?
I’ve been checking out your analytics – can i make you my landing page?
I Digg you
My title tag is “Available”
What part of <nofollow> didn’t you understand?
You had me at algo…
<head>?
If I said you had a beautiful <body> would you hold it against me?
Your homepage or mine?
Get your code love, you’ve pulled
fancy a blog roll in the sack?
Is that a long tail keyword in your meta description or are you just pleased to see me?
July 18, 2011 at 1:35 pm
I can just see all the panty-flinging that must be happening in your world. Or not. Heh!
July 18, 2011 at 1:41 pm
Painful… I think I’ve seen him try to use these.
July 18, 2011 at 1:47 pm
Oy, that had to be ugly.
July 18, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Wha? I am the modern day Mr Darcy I will have you know!
July 18, 2011 at 2:30 pm
So whats your “conversion rate” like then…
July 18, 2011 at 2:51 pm
LOL@ Monty. Uh huh.
July 18, 2011 at 5:10 pm
I will make you Klout skyrocket…
July 20, 2011 at 7:22 am
I bet you get a high bounce rate with these corny lines!
July 22, 2011 at 8:38 am
Haha, these are so bad! Sorry to any SEO who needs to use this…
February 14, 2012 at 9:35 am
Content is read, Hyperlinks are blue, ROI is sweet, And so are you
February 14, 2012 at 9:37 am
Surprised there’s nothing about link juice?!